At $300 or Less Why Not Use a Doula?

Women have unique needs before, during & following childbirth. A doula’s support is in addition to their medical care and the love & companionship of their partners.

Numerouse clinical studies (http://www.dona.org/mothers/why_use_a_doula.php) have found that a doula’s presence at birth tends to result in:

• Shorter labors with fewer complications & greater confidence
• Reduced request for pain medication
• Reduced need for medical interventions
• Greater success with nursing and adjusting to new family
• Decreased postpartum depression

Doulas Provide:

• Prenatal visits (discuss birth preferences, explore questions, practice what you’re learning)
• Information and education
• Non-medical physical comfort (massage, positioning, breathing, aromatherapy, hydration, and more)
• Presence & support tools for birthing mother & birth partner
• Consistent, continuous reassurance, emotional support & encouragement
• Respect for all types of families, birthing experiences preferences & circumstances (single, multiples, natural, medication, epidural, vaginal, VBAC, Cesarean)
• Documentation of your birth (depending on what you decide: birth story, timeline, photographs)
• Support during early bonding after your birth (including breastfeeding & infant care)
• Post-Natal visits (nursing, infant care, self-care, processing the birth story, resources, tips)

You Deserve and CAN Afford a Doula!

Instead of paying the ‘going rate’ for a doula in Boulder ($500-$1500), you can interview and hire a trained, certifying area doula at a discounted rate (free-$300).  Trained doulas are required to complete 3-6 births before their certification is complete.  These woman are educated and independent birth professionals, trained by nationally recognized doula training organizations (DONA, CAPPA, ToLabor).

Interested? Questions? Email your name and due date to AffordableDoulas@gmail.com.

Sponsored by BoulderBirthCollective.org

Pregnancy is amazing- it is true. In preparation for baby the body twists and turns in an endless series of surprise and wonder. Cue the curves, larger breasts, stretched skin, and expanding belly. These changes are essential- a gift even- and yet most women have moments where they wonder when the pounds will subside. For some there is a number that is a threshold; for others it is a game of “catch up” where they attempt to adjust their body image to match the new self.

This adjustment process is not linear, nor simple. As the body changes, many mothers-to-be begin to feel disconnected from their growing bellies and develop negative feelings related to their new bodies. Some women describe cyclical thoughts of the likes of: “As long as I lose the weight by…” or “My friend is 8 weeks ahead of me and looks 8 weeks smaller…” or even… “If Heidi Klum can…I should…”

Normal, but not helpful.

Exploring the emotional/cognitive changes that accompany the physical changes of the body can help women let go and even shed some of the unhelpful thoughts that get in the way of connecting with baby and preparing for a life/body that may look different than expected. Again, not linear or simple, but still important. This process looks different for every woman. For some it is a matter of focusing on the new life brewing within- visualizing and celebrating the expanding space for growing baby. For others it is a more arduous process of changing unhelpful body thoughts- or more profoundly- changing your relationship to said thoughts. There is no manual, but some steps might include:

1. Labeling thoughts to defuse them from the self (e.g., “I am too fat” becomes “I’m having the thought that I am too fat”). Thoughts are thoughts. They can be pesky. They can be painful. But they are thoughts. Just thoughts. Labeling thoughts can create the needed distance to shift your self-image.
2. Practicing mindfulness activities can also help to connect to the growing body instead of engaging in an unspoken war to meet a standard that is both slippery and silly. Mindfulness, whether breathing or yoga, can help to erase the “rules” and create internal cues for a more balanced body image.
3. Giving the self permission to grow/fall/zig-zag is essential in becoming a mother. Pregnancy and parenting can be messy. There is little room for perfection, so the sooner mothers/mothers-to-be learn to give themselves permission to make mistakes, the more effective (and fun) their journey can be.
4. Keeping good company is also a way to help build a positive body image during pregnancy. Throw out the magazines. Nobody needs to know how much weight Penelope Cruz gained and/or lost. This is not your story, your body, or your baby. Find compassionate women who do not engage in “fat talk” and who make room for your growing belly and brewing thoughts.
5. And if these steps do not make sense or are not helpful, consider talking to a therapist. Going to therapy can provide a safe, confidential place to examine and “catch up” to the changing self and to learn more about how to build a positive self-image for pregnancy and beyond.

Pregnancy is amazing, but in order to capture (and hopefully celebrate) the fleeting moments of this journey, brooding over bellies needs to shift to nurturing the brilliant bond with baby.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions, comments, or concerns you may have.

Samantha Strife, Ph.D.

(720) 675-8185

info@drstrife.com

www.DrStrife.com

Bio: Samantha Strife has a 10-month old daughter and is a psychologist, practicing in Boulder. She works primarily with women’s health issues (e.g., pregnancy/postpartum concerns and eating disorders). Dr. Strife is also part-time faculty in the Psychology Department at University of Colorado, Boulder.

Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are usually the last things you are thinking about
when you both muddle and dance through the 9 or so months of your pregnancy. You’ve
heard about PPD before in the news or perhaps your midwife or OB has mentioned it to
you, but my guess is that, for the most part, the idea of these very unfortunate happenings
kind of go in one ear and out the other. There are myths about PPD that we all know and
quiver at anyway: If you have PPD it means that you want to hurt yourself or your baby;
If you say you have PPD someone will take your baby away; If you are not happy in
early motherhood you must be a terrible mother; If you are depressed or anxious during
pregnancy or early motherhood you should just plow through and get over it. And with
these myths (and yes, they are all myths but more on that later) who, on earth, would
want to consider being affiliated with anything like postpartum depression?

But here is the thing, Perinatal Mood Disorders (occurring during pregnancy and/
or postpartum and including PPD) are pretty darn common- In fact, about 1 in 5 new
mothers will struggle with some form of depression and/or anxiety sometime during
pregnancy or the first 12 months after having a baby. And, guess what, these moms are
really no different than you and me. . These women are professors. They are artists.
They are lawyers. They are athletes. They are students. They are cooks. They are
writers. They are labor and delivery nurses. They are pediatricians, obstetricians, and
midwives. They are accountants. They are mothers. They are wives. They are partners.
They are friends. They are human. They are creative. They are witty. They are wise.
These women are thinkers. They are dreamers. They love to laugh. They often cry.
These women are bold. They are brave. And they are beautiful.

As my colleague William Meyers at Duke University so eloquently notes:
These are mothers in strained relationships with the baby’s fathers, or those dealing with
the added stress of an unconventional life style. These are the mothers with careers who
always wanted to be mothers but now, at home, miss the challenges and adult stimulation
of their former employments. They are the working mothers who out of necessity had
to return too soon to work and had to leave their babies in less-than-optimal child-care.
They are the relocated mothers who just moved to the area due to their partners’ job
transfers and find themselves alone in an unfamiliar city. They are the anxious mothers
of hard-to-soothe babies. They are the perfectionist mothers who have always held
themselves to impossibly high standards and now as new mothers feel they are failures.
They are the mothers who were used to having a fair amount of control over their lives
until they had early deliveries, unexpected c-sections, or babies with special needs.
They are the giving mothers whose babies have colic, won’t sleep, won’t take the breast
and won’t be consoled. They are hard on themselves, sleep-deprived, and even food-
deprived.

These are women who are highly competent and well loved. They just also happen to be
struggling at a time when they least expected or wanted to.

We now know that PPD is the most common complication of childbirth and it’s the one

that most of us don’t expect. Perinatal Mood Disorders are primarily a physiological
issue- meaning that they are caused by biochemical changes that occur in a woman
after she gives birth. Because of the major hormone shifts that take place immediately
following delivery, sleep deprivation that manages to come right along with having
a newborn, and common nutrient depletion that results from pregnancy, childbirth,
and breast feeding, many women (again, about 20%) are more vulnerable to other
psychological and social stressors that might occur with the addition of a new baby. And
so, Moms at risk may become depressed and/or anxious because they are simply less
resilient to stress than they might otherwise be. Psychological and social stressors that
might team up with the physical stressors mentioned above include but are not limited
to: a personal or family history of mental illness including depression/anxiety, negative
thinking patterns including perfectionist thinking and high expectations of self, a history
of abuse, trauma, or family conflict, major life changes during pregnancy or postpartum,
lacking social support, a sick or colicky newborn, and a traumatic birth experience. The
biggest take away from this? PPD is not a woman’s fault and has absolutely nothing to
do with the kind of mother that she is or wants to be.

But it is important that these Moms get the support that they need and deserve. Because
while PPD does not mean that you are a terrible mother, it does make it difficult to enjoy
the early weeks and months of parenting and may interfere with your ability to bond and
attach with your baby.

So, lets get back to those myths:

1. If you have PPD it means that you want to hurt yourself or your baby.
Most women who are struggling with depression and/or anxiety are not at risk for hurting
themselves or their children.

1.Feeling badly is a normal part of being a new mother.
Although becoming a parent is overwhelming and exhausting for most, it is not normal to
feel down for a long time or continuously after a baby is born.

2. If I tell anyone how I am feeling, they will take my baby away.
Having PPD is not a reason for anyone to take your baby away. In fact, women who seek
help are doing so not just for themselves but also for their families.

3.I should just pull myself together.
Depression and anxiety are real illnesses and you are really suffering. It does not mean
that you are weak and lazy and usually this is not something that mom can conquer on
her own.

4. If I feel this badly, I am not meant to be a mother and I am a bad mother.
PPD is not a reflection of a mom’s love for her baby or desire to take care of her baby,
but it does interfere with her ability to enjoy pregnancy or the first weeks and months
after childbirth.

5. There are no safe treatments, so why bother getting help?
There are many excellent, safe, and effective treatments for PPD. Each and every
Perinatal Mood Disorder is treatable, and women who seek out and follow through with
appropriate support and treatment DO GET BETTER.

The raw truth about it is that having a new baby is not easy for anyone, no matter what
kind of “perfect” they appear to be from the outside. We all struggle, each and every one
of us. But those of us who’s struggle out weighs the happiness and hopefulness need not
feel this way. There is help. Asking for it is usually that hardest part.

Kate Kripke, LCSW